How could I resist sharing this photo with you? It appears on the website of a North Kent estate agent, and depicts a garage that is available for sale at an advertised price of £7,500.
Did it make you smile, too?
:-)
9 years ago
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Bijou Property for sale
How could I resist sharing this photo with you? It appears on the website of a North Kent estate agent, and depicts a garage that is available for sale at an advertised price of £7,500.
Did it make you smile, too?
:-)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Carwash Solution
Hello again!
After my previous blog we went back to the carwash and tried again, with great success.
See below!
And then we drove off to the local opticians...
:-(
PS Now we can see what an upside-down ticket really looks like!
After my previous blog we went back to the carwash and tried again, with great success.
See below!
And then we drove off to the local opticians...
:-(
PS Now we can see what an upside-down ticket really looks like!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Carwash
Kathy and I had a bit of bother today when we took our car to the carwash.
Just to set the scene, here's a photo that I took of the carwash in operation on another car while we were waiting our turn.
Our problem was with the green-faced box which you can see fixed to the wall on the left. It has a keyboard on its facia which enables a customer to enter a six-digit password. This starts the carwash. Simple!
We'd been given our six-digit password on a printed receipt when we had paid for the carwash.
Well, as soon as we had parked the car inside the carwash, Kathy whizzed off with the receipt to enter the password into the box on the wall, while I did mundane stuff like checking that all the windows were closed, unscrewing the car radio aerial, and pushing the wing mirrors in.
When I joined her, Kathy was still busily typing the password into the box on the wall. "It's not working!" she exclaimed,"And I've tried ten times!"
So I had a go. I entered the password. And nothing happened. And I tried again, and again, and again, with no result. A queue of cars was building up in the waiting area behind us, and some of the drivers started honking impatiently.
Time was ticking on, and we had an appointment to keep. So we decided to leave the carwash and return again tomorrow.
It was while we were waiting at the exit to turn into a busy road that I glanced into the rear view mirror. And I could see the carwash operating perfectly normally on the next car in.
I wonder why it wouldn't work for us? Have you had a similar experience? We'll try again tomorrow, but in the meantime, we'll be interested in your ideas!
:-)
Just to set the scene, here's a photo that I took of the carwash in operation on another car while we were waiting our turn.
Our problem was with the green-faced box which you can see fixed to the wall on the left. It has a keyboard on its facia which enables a customer to enter a six-digit password. This starts the carwash. Simple!
We'd been given our six-digit password on a printed receipt when we had paid for the carwash.
Well, as soon as we had parked the car inside the carwash, Kathy whizzed off with the receipt to enter the password into the box on the wall, while I did mundane stuff like checking that all the windows were closed, unscrewing the car radio aerial, and pushing the wing mirrors in.
When I joined her, Kathy was still busily typing the password into the box on the wall. "It's not working!" she exclaimed,"And I've tried ten times!"
So I had a go. I entered the password. And nothing happened. And I tried again, and again, and again, with no result. A queue of cars was building up in the waiting area behind us, and some of the drivers started honking impatiently.
Time was ticking on, and we had an appointment to keep. So we decided to leave the carwash and return again tomorrow.
It was while we were waiting at the exit to turn into a busy road that I glanced into the rear view mirror. And I could see the carwash operating perfectly normally on the next car in.
I wonder why it wouldn't work for us? Have you had a similar experience? We'll try again tomorrow, but in the meantime, we'll be interested in your ideas!
:-)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Chain Gang.
I had a bit of bother today when I went to fetch a trolley at my local supermarket.
You are probably quite familiar with these trolleys, each embedded one into another, that are parked outside a modern supermarket. I call them "chain-gangs", because the back of each trolley has a dangling chain with an attachment that plugs into the lock of the trolley that is stacked behind it.
You have to push a coin into the lock of the rearmost trolley. This releases the chain from the lock, and you pull your trolley out. The chain is left dangling from the back of what is now the last trolley in the chain gang.
Simple! Then off you go into the supermarket with your trolley, with your coin visible and protruding slightly from the lock.
Afterwards, when you've finished shopping and you've loaded your car with goodies, you return your empty trolley to the chain gang. You push your trolley into the back of the rearmost trolley, then you plug the end of the chain hanging from that trolley into the lock of your trolley. This relinks your trolley to the chain gang and releases your coin from the lock. Bliss!
They are clever people, these trolley designers. I've often tried to prise my coin out, whilst wandering around the supermarket, in the hope that this would relieve me of the chore of returning my trolley to the chain gang. But no way! The trolley lock has clamped its jaw, bulldog- like, around the coin and the only way to get your coin back (short of a hammer and chisel) is to return the empty trolley to the chain gang.
But I digress. Or perhaps I should say that today the supermarket digressed from its usual policy of totalitarian control and order. The entire chain gang, fully chained together, had been pushed out of its railed enclosure to enable a cleaner to sweep the tarmac. And for the first time in my life, I found myself approaching the chain gang from the front, instead of the rear.
I admit I should have thought more deeply about this, and I should have walked to the back of the chain gang to get my trolley out in the usual way. But I didn't. Instead, I chose the easier option, which was the front trolley, which was nearer. And I inserted my coin into the lock of the trolley behind, which broke its link to the chain of the front trolley.
That's when disaster struck. Kathy was with me, and she was in a hurry. The supermarket was running a special promotion of cut-price goodies, and she was worried that these would become sold out. So she grabbed the front trolley that I had freed and disappeared into the supermarket.
I hope you can visualise the scenario: Kathy had disappeared with a trolley that had no coin in its lock. And I was left alone, at the head of the chain gang, which had my coin clamped into the lock of its foremost trolley.
What would you do?
:-(
Well, I'm sure that you can think of all sorts of solutions that I didn't consider in the heat of the moment. What I can say is this; people who had finished their shopping were arriving with empty trolleys and plugging them into the rear of my chain gang in order to retrieve their coins. And they outnumbered the fewer new arrivals who wanted a trolley from the back of my chain gang. My chain gang was growing by the minute. Something had to be done. So I panicked.
Determined as I was not to abandon my coin in the front trolley, I pushed the entire chain gang into the supermarket in order to find Kathy. I admit this caused some inconvenience to the shoppers inside, as well as some minor damage to the supermarket entrance, and to the special offer promotion display in the entrance foyer, and to several aisles. But I did find Kathy in the frozen food area, where she was examining some pork chops which were on special offer at a 30% discount from yesterday's price.
"What the hell are you doing!" she yelled, as I approached, pushing my chain gang. Somehow, I managed to bring the meandering train of trolleys to a full stop when the front trolley (the one with my coin in it) got wedged between frozen pork and frozen chicken container units.
I can't quite remember the exact detail of our subsequent conversation. But we did agree that a coin in the lock of a front trolley in a chain gang is irretrievable.
Maybe the supermarket knows this, too...
PS
Here's a photo of Kathy's coinless trolley.
PPS
I'm using this photo as a template for the production of copy chain attachments. I see an opportunity for making money in the supermarket aisles if I have some of these attachments to hand....
:-)
You are probably quite familiar with these trolleys, each embedded one into another, that are parked outside a modern supermarket. I call them "chain-gangs", because the back of each trolley has a dangling chain with an attachment that plugs into the lock of the trolley that is stacked behind it.
You have to push a coin into the lock of the rearmost trolley. This releases the chain from the lock, and you pull your trolley out. The chain is left dangling from the back of what is now the last trolley in the chain gang.
Simple! Then off you go into the supermarket with your trolley, with your coin visible and protruding slightly from the lock.
Afterwards, when you've finished shopping and you've loaded your car with goodies, you return your empty trolley to the chain gang. You push your trolley into the back of the rearmost trolley, then you plug the end of the chain hanging from that trolley into the lock of your trolley. This relinks your trolley to the chain gang and releases your coin from the lock. Bliss!
They are clever people, these trolley designers. I've often tried to prise my coin out, whilst wandering around the supermarket, in the hope that this would relieve me of the chore of returning my trolley to the chain gang. But no way! The trolley lock has clamped its jaw, bulldog- like, around the coin and the only way to get your coin back (short of a hammer and chisel) is to return the empty trolley to the chain gang.
But I digress. Or perhaps I should say that today the supermarket digressed from its usual policy of totalitarian control and order. The entire chain gang, fully chained together, had been pushed out of its railed enclosure to enable a cleaner to sweep the tarmac. And for the first time in my life, I found myself approaching the chain gang from the front, instead of the rear.
I admit I should have thought more deeply about this, and I should have walked to the back of the chain gang to get my trolley out in the usual way. But I didn't. Instead, I chose the easier option, which was the front trolley, which was nearer. And I inserted my coin into the lock of the trolley behind, which broke its link to the chain of the front trolley.
That's when disaster struck. Kathy was with me, and she was in a hurry. The supermarket was running a special promotion of cut-price goodies, and she was worried that these would become sold out. So she grabbed the front trolley that I had freed and disappeared into the supermarket.
I hope you can visualise the scenario: Kathy had disappeared with a trolley that had no coin in its lock. And I was left alone, at the head of the chain gang, which had my coin clamped into the lock of its foremost trolley.
What would you do?
:-(
Well, I'm sure that you can think of all sorts of solutions that I didn't consider in the heat of the moment. What I can say is this; people who had finished their shopping were arriving with empty trolleys and plugging them into the rear of my chain gang in order to retrieve their coins. And they outnumbered the fewer new arrivals who wanted a trolley from the back of my chain gang. My chain gang was growing by the minute. Something had to be done. So I panicked.
Determined as I was not to abandon my coin in the front trolley, I pushed the entire chain gang into the supermarket in order to find Kathy. I admit this caused some inconvenience to the shoppers inside, as well as some minor damage to the supermarket entrance, and to the special offer promotion display in the entrance foyer, and to several aisles. But I did find Kathy in the frozen food area, where she was examining some pork chops which were on special offer at a 30% discount from yesterday's price.
"What the hell are you doing!" she yelled, as I approached, pushing my chain gang. Somehow, I managed to bring the meandering train of trolleys to a full stop when the front trolley (the one with my coin in it) got wedged between frozen pork and frozen chicken container units.
I can't quite remember the exact detail of our subsequent conversation. But we did agree that a coin in the lock of a front trolley in a chain gang is irretrievable.
Maybe the supermarket knows this, too...
PS
Here's a photo of Kathy's coinless trolley.
PPS
I'm using this photo as a template for the production of copy chain attachments. I see an opportunity for making money in the supermarket aisles if I have some of these attachments to hand....
:-)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I need Ad-vice
English newspapers like the Times and Telegraph cost a fortune here in Tenerife, so instead I follow the news on my laptop, or on television (we can receive Sky, CNN, and BBC World News).
However, there are several English language newspapers published in the Canary Islands that are aimed at the expat and tourist market. These newspapers are distributed to shops and hotels and are available free of charge. I usually browse through these whilst waiting in my local unisex hairdressing shop.
These free newspapers carry very little actual news; most of the pages contain advertisements. And since most of the advertisements are placed by small and medium-sized local businesses (mostly Spanish), the standard of written English often leaves a lot to be desired.
Here's a selection of very odd advertisements, possibly mispelt, that I discovered just inside the back page of one of these newspapers , under the mysterious heading "Services".
Los Cristianos Laddies, do Greek, various kisses, in front of bus station.
Las Galletas, French with dour glass figure, discret apartmento.
Las Veronicas, Transvesti 20 years, blond, 140 breasts.
I don't understand; what on earth are these advertisements all about? It's a problem, and when I'm confronted by a problem, all sorts of mental images flash through my mind. My imagination is still working overtime on the examples above, but I think I'm nearly there with the one shown below.
Puerto Colon, Miss age, Dutch, in privy place.
Do you think I'm on the right path here?
:-)
However, there are several English language newspapers published in the Canary Islands that are aimed at the expat and tourist market. These newspapers are distributed to shops and hotels and are available free of charge. I usually browse through these whilst waiting in my local unisex hairdressing shop.
These free newspapers carry very little actual news; most of the pages contain advertisements. And since most of the advertisements are placed by small and medium-sized local businesses (mostly Spanish), the standard of written English often leaves a lot to be desired.
Here's a selection of very odd advertisements, possibly mispelt, that I discovered just inside the back page of one of these newspapers , under the mysterious heading "Services".
Los Cristianos Laddies, do Greek, various kisses, in front of bus station.
Las Galletas, French with dour glass figure, discret apartmento.
Las Veronicas, Transvesti 20 years, blond, 140 breasts.
I don't understand; what on earth are these advertisements all about? It's a problem, and when I'm confronted by a problem, all sorts of mental images flash through my mind. My imagination is still working overtime on the examples above, but I think I'm nearly there with the one shown below.
Puerto Colon, Miss age, Dutch, in privy place.
Do you think I'm on the right path here?
:-)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
For love of the game
It is a popular myth that the origins of the modern game of rugby can be traced back to an incident at Rugby School in Warwickshire, where there is a commemorative stone that celebrates the event. The stone is shown below:
The inscription has faded somewhat, and reads as follows:
The inscription has faded somewhat, and reads as follows:
THIS STONE
COMMEMORATES THE EXPLOIT OF
WILLIAM WEBB ELLIS
WHO WITH A FINE DISREGARD FOR THE RULES OF FOOTBALL
AS PLAYED IN HIS TIME
FIRST TOOK THE BALL IN HIS ARMS AND RAN WITH IT
THUS ORIGINATING THE DISTINCTIVE FEATURE OF
THE RUGBY GAME
A.D. 1823
COMMEMORATES THE EXPLOIT OF
WILLIAM WEBB ELLIS
WHO WITH A FINE DISREGARD FOR THE RULES OF FOOTBALL
AS PLAYED IN HIS TIME
FIRST TOOK THE BALL IN HIS ARMS AND RAN WITH IT
THUS ORIGINATING THE DISTINCTIVE FEATURE OF
THE RUGBY GAME
A.D. 1823
An alternative theory, and one that is enthusiastically promoted by some followers of Association Football, suggests that Rugby was invented in Neolithic times, by Stone Age cave-dwellers.
So there we have it; two contrasting images, two quite different views. So which is the superior sport? Rugby, or Association Football? Is it possible to present a balanced and reasoned opinion in favour of one or the other?
I've got my views! And so, dear friends, lend me your ears!
If I were to present a serious case, I'd support rugby. A game of schoolboy rugby gives eight more boys the chance to participate; rugby provides more than just one way of scoring (try, conversion, penalty goal, drop goal); the oval ball provides greater technical challenges than the spherical ball; and the game offers opportunities for players with a wider variety of physical attributes to participate and to excel.
But why be so serious about this? There is a man who lives in my apartment block who comes home from work, and spends an hour outside practising football with his two teenage sons. And I'm reminded of me doing some similar stuff, using a different shaped ball, with my son.
It's all about love, really.
THE ABOVE IMAGE
IS A REPRODUCTION OF
A PREHISTORIC CAVE DRAWING
DISCOVERED IN THE TWICKENHAM TUNNEL
AND WHICH IS BELIEVED TO DEPICT
THE AFTERMATH OF A PRE-MATCH ENCOUNTER
IN WHICH RETALIATION WAS GOT IN FIRST
BEFORE A GAME OF RUGBY
B.C. 13,823
IS A REPRODUCTION OF
A PREHISTORIC CAVE DRAWING
DISCOVERED IN THE TWICKENHAM TUNNEL
AND WHICH IS BELIEVED TO DEPICT
THE AFTERMATH OF A PRE-MATCH ENCOUNTER
IN WHICH RETALIATION WAS GOT IN FIRST
BEFORE A GAME OF RUGBY
B.C. 13,823
So there we have it; two contrasting images, two quite different views. So which is the superior sport? Rugby, or Association Football? Is it possible to present a balanced and reasoned opinion in favour of one or the other?
I've got my views! And so, dear friends, lend me your ears!
If I were to present a serious case, I'd support rugby. A game of schoolboy rugby gives eight more boys the chance to participate; rugby provides more than just one way of scoring (try, conversion, penalty goal, drop goal); the oval ball provides greater technical challenges than the spherical ball; and the game offers opportunities for players with a wider variety of physical attributes to participate and to excel.
But why be so serious about this? There is a man who lives in my apartment block who comes home from work, and spends an hour outside practising football with his two teenage sons. And I'm reminded of me doing some similar stuff, using a different shaped ball, with my son.
It's all about love, really.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
This is Me!
I've just completed an on-line quiz!
The result is shown in the graph above.
I'm told I am a "centrist moderate social authoritarian".
(Left: 0.18, Authoritarian: 1.78).
I wonder where you chaps might appear in the graph?
The link is shown below.
http://www.gotoquiz.com/politics/political-spectrum-quiz.html
:-)
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